Friday, February 17, 2006

Alec Baldwin: Unhinged!

Alec Baldwin has a post at The Huffington Post that reminds me of the famous quip attributed to the late Groucho Marx: "He may look like an idiot and talk like and idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."

Here's a sample:

So, I suppose the question is...what kind of civil trial will we see, or not see, between Cheney and Whittington? Whittington is certainly no stranger to a court room and to civil litigation. Will Cheney pay him off, preemptively? Will they go to court? I would imagine if a guy with a few beers in him shoots you in the face on a hunting trip, how could you turn down that opportunity?...

Cheney's the guy who told Libby to out Valerie Plame. The rumor I heard is that someone yelled, "Look out! Shooter!" and Cheney thought he said Scooter and fired in that general direction.

Cheney is a terrorist. He terrorizes our enemies abroad and innocent citizens here at home indiscriminately. Who ever thought Harry Whittington would be the answer to America's prayers. Finally, someone who might get that lying, thieving Cheney into a courtroom to answer some direct questions.

(Emphasis mine)

I usually blockquote only the amount needed to make my point, but this moron left so little to work with that a visit to the actual post reveals little additional information. Don't bother! I can't find one verifiable fact in the entire post. Wait a minute! He did imply that Whittington had been in a court room. I'm sure that can probably be checked out, but I seriously doubt Baldwin went to the trouble.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for freedom of speech. Freedom to your own facts, however, is another issue entirely. It would be one thing if he were just making bad jokes, but this man is deadly serious. It's the condition Michelle Malkin refers to as: UNHINGED!

I won't go to the trouble to pick apart the post any further because Baldwin could end up reading this and I'm afraid facts would just confuse him. I will, however, demonstate how easy it is for someone like Baldwin to pretend to be a blogger. I just need a subject....I've got it!.. I'll use Alec Baldwin as my subject. Ready, Alec?

Here we go:

When Baldwin was young, he had a job as a busboy at famous New York City disco Studio 54. He claims he had to quit the job because seeing all of the sex going on around him "was making me too horny." It has since been revealed that he was fired from that job for stealing condoms.

He was married to actress Kim Basinger from 1993 to 2002. They were the subject of much media attention for the bitter divorce and custody fight for their daughter and accusations, later proven, that Baldwin was an abusive husband and had a heroin addiction, which many believed hurt his career in addition to allegations of him having anger management problems. He still struggles with his heroine addiction and is currently in treatment. His doctor states that Alec has a tendency to speak in incomplete and incoherrent sentences and often picks his nose with a roach clip. It has been revealed to us by an unnamed source that Mr. Baldwin also served time for bank robbery, but was later released due to evidence coming to light proving that his IQ was too low to actually pull off the robbery in which he was charged.

Baldwin was widely criticized for his appearance on Late Night with Conan O'Brien on December 11th, 1998, eight days before President Bill Clinton was impeached. In a skit that Baldwin later referred to as a "parody", he said that "if we were in another country, ... We would stone Henry Hyde to death and we would go to their homes and we’d kill their wives and their children. We would kill their families." [1] Baldwin later apologized to Hyde for his remarks. NBC has promised never to re-air the show. Baldwin has since gone on many similar tirades and has threatened to move to another country. He's still here, proving that he is full of empty rhetoric and a lack of courage for his convictions. He's all talk and no action, yet thinks he should be taken seriously.

I suppose I broke Alec's rule by linking my source, but I found it to be surprisingly easy to make up my own facts which I added in bold. I can't prove any of it, but you should just take my word for it because in Alec's world, facts don't matter. I should point out that the last section, while not in the original text, is undeniably true.

I wonder if Alec would like his newly updated biographical information? Maybe we'll find out, maybe we won't, but one thing's for certain: There's more truth in it than in what he wrote.

UPDATE: Alec has allies. Check out the comment thread.

Tags: Alec Baldwin, Cheney, Whittington, Unhinged

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