Tuesday, March 29, 2005

It's all Bush's Fault?

Confederate Yankee reported on his website yesterday that the conspiracy theorists and the Blame Bush crowd at Democratic Underground, are up to their old tricks again. I say old meaning that they haven't come up with anything new or creative, so all they can do is bash Bush and throw the same old crap against the wall hoping one day something might stick.

Well this is for our friends over at Democratic Underground. I have a top secret source, who just so happens to work at a gas station just down the street from the Pentagon. What he told me will knock your socks off. He told me that during a super secret meeting back in early January 2005, the Republican Leadership along with several high-level officials at the Pentagon met to discuss options for dealing with the tsunami threat.

After meeting for a few hours they approached the President with an idea of how to deal with the tsunami threat. Since President Bush with his environmental policies, secret nuclear weapon testing, and general all-around conservative principles,(you pick)are causing these major catastrophes, the thought was that he could also prevent them.

What they came up with was startling! It's called the Seismic Tsunami Upgraded Protection & Interruption Directive. Basically what this directive is designed to do is to allow the President of the United States to step in when a catastrophic event is imminent and push a button under his desk that will prevent it from occuring. The button relays a signal to hundreds of dolphins in the so called "Ring of Fire" who have been equipped with special electronic devices that emit a signal that will cause most events such as this to dissapate. These dolphins were equipped with these electronic devices during a midnight covert op undertaken by Navy Seals sometime in mid January 2005. The technology behind this is so baffling and top secret that I am unable to explain it to you, but there is proof that it works because there was no tsunami generated by the earthquake in Sumatra on Monday.

If President Bush can cause these catastrophic events to occur, surely he also has the power to stop them, don't you think?

By the way, when you guys at Democratic Underground research this new top secret government program, you might also try looking for it under it's acronym: S.T.U.P.I.D.

Sound ridiculous? Well, so are majority of the conspiracy theories you espouse.

That's My View... What's Your's

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